August 2012
condom:
i am actually so self-conscious to the point where if someone is looking at me i literally feel like they’re thinking and picking out all of my flaws dear god.
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
Gaston: Hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm Gaston and you should need no further convincing because I'm gaston so marry me now
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
4 tags
1 tag
1 tag
Person: What state do you live in?
Me: Denial.
1 tag
nedroidcomics:
Tonight on Twitter I pondered what Seinfeld would be like if it had aired in the internet era. Here were my ideas for easy reading:
Jerry breaks up with a woman because of her unflattering Twitter avatar
”Jerry, Kramer’s reblogging me and removing my original tags!” “C’mon George, it’s the internet! Information wants to be *free*!”
Uncle Leo doesn’t understand email, wants...
1 tag
1 tag
3 tags
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
“When I first met with agents, they said, “Okay, you’re going to play plumbers...”
– Nick Offerman
(via turangalilas)
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
This is how think things at Bioware work
Writers: So we have this dr Liara T'soni, an asari scientis--
Designers: Science is sexy, then sexy it is!
Writers: No you see, the Asari are mono-sexed race, they are not females, but can reproduce without physical contanct, via mind-meld-
Designers: Minds are sexy, let's make a full nude sexy sex scene!
Writers: But you don't understand, for asari, the entire universe is one consciousness, all is one--
Designers: Blue space babes. Sexy!
Writers:
Writers: So, Miranda. She's very inteligent, designed to be perfect.
Designers: Perfect is sexy, then sexy it is.
Writers: Samara is 1000 year old asari Justicar and a powerful biotic-
Designers: Mature lady. Confident. Sexy!
Writers: Now Jack, she's been through a lot, tortured, abused, her whole body is covered with tattoos-
Designers: Tattoos are sexy. Also, make her pale.
Writers: Very well, about EDI. Her name stands for Enhanced Defense Intelligence and she will need a body platform.
Designers: A sexbot! Sexy!
Writers: Ashley is also making a comback, she's been promoted to Lieutenant-Commander--
Designer: Then we must make her sexy now! Let her hair down and... cleveage. Yes. Sexy!
Writers: And finally, Tali. You all know her.
Designer: Of course. Will make her look humanoid, because only humanoid chicks are sexy. Sexy!
Writers:
Writers: Okay, sexy time femSheps, make Thane look sexy.
Designers: Oh my god, skin showing... This is making us so uncomfortable...
Writers: Well, he's going to die anyways so don't worry.
Designers: Phew!
Writers: ...but Jacob needs to look good too.
Designers: Oh come on man this is too much!
Writers: Well, we can shorten his loyalty mission and make him cheat on femShep?
Designers:
Writers:
Designers and Writers: PERFECTLY BALANCED
1 tag
1 tag
July 2012
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
My boyfriend learning about Phyllis
Him: I paid off my first debt!
Me: Good job, babe.
Him: Why isn't the duck clapping, she claps for you!
Me: Pelly claps, that's Phyllis, she hates everyone.
Him: FUCK PHYLLIS, SHE'S A BITCH. What did I ever do?
Me: Yeah, welcome to the fandom
the-adequate-gatsby:
stultifyandstupefy:
derpes:
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
1 tag
Watchasherlockian:
lokigoodness:
ourtangledbones:
dinuguan:
Who raised this kid?! :o
I would be lying if I said I didn’t tear up a bit. Incredible.
:’)
bless this kid.
1 tag
